Sadness

I hurt today. The loss of ButterCup has really hit hard and I just cannot get excited for my wedding that is only two days away. Big B is sad too because he can't seem to cheer me up no matter what he does. All I want to do is curl up into a ball on the bed and cry until I sleep. Guests and friends are arriving in the next day but there is no real joy to speak of yet. There is hope that with the arrival of C tonight, I will feel better. But I make no promises.