Wednesday, December 15, 2010


I asked one of my students today: "Did you wear your smarty pants today?"
He replied, "no."
As the test progressed I said, "You did wear your smarty pants!"
The reply: "No, I think my mom may have put them in my backpack."

Monday, December 13, 2010

Not my student

So over the weekend I attended a birthday party for a one year old... there was only one other child in attendance. "A" is a three year old twin who got to spend some quality alone with mom time at the party. I had last seen A when he was in utero so I was curious about him. I introduced myself and asked him how old he was. A replied, "I am three." Pause... Pause... "Mom? Am I three?" "Yes, dear. You are three years old," replied mom.
That made my whole day!

Thursday, December 9, 2010


In baseball you need some things. A small bat; a bat; sacks.

Oh, sacks? Really??

Monday, December 6, 2010


"Balls" has two meanings. One of them is inappropriate.

Thursday, December 2, 2010


Today a first grader said that he wanted a Woody for Christmas... that's because he lost his Buzz.

Friday, November 19, 2010

Mi favrit

Today I was told by a colleague that her son consoled another child after he had been hit in the head with a ball by saying, "dude, my mom always tells me: bros before hoes to my brother and he feels better. So, bros before hoes, man."
This is NOTHING that my colleague would ever say but at least he was empathetic enough to want to help the boy with some "encouraging" words. Ahem.
So, my pre-holiday mantra has become: Bros before Hoes... but then again... I don't have either.

Friday, November 12, 2010

Not a quote:

Today my co-teacher had a cup of coffee on her desk. Usually it is a closed cup... today, not so much. When she went to start her planning period she reached for a sip and was poked in the nose with three pencils the first graders had dropped in the cup. Her desk usually just has an open cup for pencils. They were not ready for one that had REAL liquid in it!

Tuesday, November 9, 2010

One from the first days of school:

My co-teacher asked one of the first graders:
So, L, what two letters make the "ffff" sound in DolPHin?

To which he replied:


Friday, November 5, 2010

From the past

I said to a group of second graders: You folks are nuts.
Child A responds: No. We can't be nuts. We are girls. Only boys have nuts.


Today's installment was overheard in the Library:
How do you spell the "F" word?

Wednesday, November 3, 2010

November 3

Child 1: Did you know there was lava inside the moon?
Child 2: (excitedly) And in URANUS!!

ba dum pum